Thursday, 4 June 2015

Telling my Dad

I was hoping to write and let you know how smoothly everything had gone telling our parents. But alas, the road is never without a few bumps. Telling my lesbian mums that my husband is transgender was easy and they've embraced her in a 'welcome to the club, let us buy you a beer' sort of way. Ok, good. How hard could it be to tell my dad and stepmum? Well, actually way harder because I actually LIKE my dad and respect his opinion. Picture this... he's an English, early 60's, ex-military/cop and very traditional. He's an old school 'put on a sweater if you're cold...finish the food on your plate' sort of guy. He's mellowed since he married my stepmum though, she's lovely.

So I sent an email to them telling them that my husband is transgender and explaining that as a family we're fine, that the kids had taken the news with barely a batt of an eyelash and that we're okay as a couple. That they don't need to worry because we're really all ok.

And then the silence.          No reply.            Nothing.

For a guy that works on the computer all day for work I know he's read my email and is now just ignoring me. And the silence was driving me crazy! I'm a bit of an over-thinker I guess so I'm imagining the worst. Maybe he had a heart attack and died of shock? Maybe he's not going to talk to me again. Maybe he's mad at my husband. Maybe he's going to cancel his visit.

I finally gave up after 24 hours and sent a quick email confirming that he'd gotten the original expose and did he have any questions. And a reply came back saying he needed to discuss with his wife. K was right when she told me that some people need time to process. I have to be patient and let him come to me when he's ready. But it's so weird because I'm used to my dad being the guy who has it all together and me asking questions, not the other way round.

So the long and short of it, is that we have a phone call (cue ominous music) scheduled for later today when we can talk uninterrupted. I'll report back and let you know how it goes, and in the meantime I'll try and not overthink things and get myself all worried for what may turn out to be nothing more than a storm in an hourglass.

No comments:

Post a Comment