Friday, 29 May 2015

The Importance of Date Night

My husband (who works out of town) comes home for the weekends so Fridays are always a good day because I'm obviously happy to see him. There's also the last minute scramble to get the laundry done, the kitchen scrubbed and a nice supper made unless we're going out. Date night for us is usually Friday and we often go out for a cheap supper and do something fun or just take some time away from the stresses of family life. Don't get me wrong... we love our children. But having time as a couple to renew your friendship and remember why you married this person in the first place are important. We made a commitment before we ever got married that Friday would be our date night and we've stuck with that pretty faithfully for years and the kids all know it's make your own supper night.

There have been times before and during our married life where we've not had a lot of money. So we've had dates eating a sandwich on the beach, eating a $1 cheeseburger while parked in a rest area and staring up the hill towards our house (the kids were younger and we figured we'd make it home before the fire trucks), we even managed to get some privacy for a year by telling the kids we were going out and then sneaking the laptop into our travel trailer and just watching movies together for a couple of hours while parked in our own driveway. Those were great because it saved gas :)

The point is, that no matter what you do, spending time regularly to re-connect and just hang out as friends is vitally important. We do get to chat with each other every day on Facebook and by text but it's not the same as just strolling around the mall, having supper, hanging out with friends or just sitting and talking face to face. It doesn't have to be a fancy date, but what it does need is to be a regular priority. Sometimes being here with the kids all week makes me feel like a part-time single parent and it's tough having teens.  I personally feel like our date nights have saved my sanity some weeks. Those are the days when my husband comes home and I meet him at the door with one simple phrase 'take me out of here!' Another good clue would be hanging a sign above the door that says

You my think that having date night is something you don't need because you've been married for years, your kids are grown so you don't need romance, or perhaps you think the whole idea is silly because you see each other all the time anyways. But I won't give it up as long as I have a spouse I want to continue to build a relationship with. I need it. It's the little things like date night that have helped us stay in love and remember why we got together in the first place. It's the relaxed companionship and the silly jokes you both laugh at. Long after the kids have grown and left we'll still have each other and I don't want to get to the point where I'm staring across the breakfast table and thinking 'I have no idea who you are anymore'.

Date night has been a good time for us to talk about cross dressing and transitioning without the kids being able to interrupt us so it's kept the lines of communication open. Especially at the beginning when I'd actually drive into the city once a week so we had some extra face to face time, and I think it was helpful for me personally. I highly recommend starting a regular date night if you don't already. And if you ever find yourself in the Annapolis Valley of Nova Scotia on a Friday night...look us up! Friends are always welcome to join us and we'd really enjoy the company.

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